I try to talk to her and it's like pulling teeth. She never has time any more to talk, and is always with friends or work. She is not interested anymore since she moved. I give up, i'll just wait for her to call or text.

Current Mood: depressed

This describes my love life exactly!

Current Mood: tired

"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issuance of their currency, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."


- Thomas Jefferson

Current Mood: amused

I just got ripped off !!!!!!! I was charged by CWU 1500+ for working my summer internship. This is not even a class, I just post what I did each week to an online message board. So, I pay 1500 to work for someone.......-1500 what do I get in return from cwu? This is fucked up

Current Mood: angry

Found this rather disturbing, no need for men. I feel obsolete


http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/sciencetech/men-no-longer-necessary-for-sperm-production/750

"A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys


By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat
So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school riot girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills. Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.

Why Geek Dudes Rule

They are generally available.


See the Web site!


Other women will tend not to steal them.

They can fix things.

Your parents will love them.

They're smart.

Where The Geek Dude Lurks

While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation.

Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.

Imprinting

You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with such narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next topic...

The Trek factor

If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk and Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your Deep Space Nine, your Babylon 5. Armed with your own knowledge of Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding, and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary. This world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in the geeky-but-heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart, Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is. If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality, you are ready for a geek relationship.

Once You've Nabbed Him

Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man:

Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance.

Geek Cuisine

Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.

Geek Lifestyle

The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize.

To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he wants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man.

Geek Buddies

Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are.

Post-It Note

I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight authority problem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This exchange is interesting for several reasons:

Howard had already thought about who she was most like.

He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease.

Victoria actually knew who he meant.

Folks, I think this marriage will last.

One Last Thing

Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you. Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet.

Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles. Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't you like a little intellectual stimulation or your own? We thought so."

Just read this and thought I would repost it.... I found it a little disturbing how close it came to describing perfectly. Wow
http://ifaq.wap.org/sex/geekguide.html

Current Mood: contemplative

Just got into Ellensburg on Tuesday and now schools starting at 9am today. I'll write more when I get more. I don't want to go, break was over fast

Current Mood: sad

I just came across this artical explaining a lot of sterotypes that are a little true. There is alot more to what I wrote but, it seems to make sense.

http://www.ivygateblog.com/blog/2007/08/sex_on_campus_art_students_did_it_all_for_the_nookie.html


"Another idea, consistent with popular media portrayals of geeks and nerds (males at least), is that intelligent people actually want to have sex, but are simply less likely or unable to obtain willing partners because they are disproportionately viewed as unattractive or undesirable as partners.

To bring it full-circle, classic insight from the Harvard Independent into the evolutionary psychology of Harvard dating:

Let's take the typical Harvard girl and give her the same complementary attributes, and what you have is the ubiquitous problem of the "H-Bomb." Whether you realized this or not, your acceptance into Harvard eliminated 99.99% of the world's male population from being your potential love interest. Societal "standards" have deemed that you should date an Ivy-leaguer. And yes, I realize that it's like some sick, twisted perpetuation of social Darwinism. There are slim pickings, dears, when you look at your pool of candidates. On top of the fact that you have been sucked into the cult of Ivy-cest, the "lower" Ivy males are scared of you like none other. You attend the school they were rejected from."

I just ran across this movie again tonight. I haven't seen it in so long, I think my dad took me to see it back in 1993 and I think I have it on tape some place. Maybe I'll watch on during Christmas, this movies a lot sadder than I remember.



"Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's something out there, far from my home
A longing that I've never known" - The Nightmare Before Christmas

* As a kid I don't think I ever gave a second thought to any of these lyrics, now I feel like I can relate to nearly everything


Wow I just used spell checker and noticed....Havn't is spelled haven't. I think I must have been making the same mistake for a super long time now. Yay for learning

Current Mood: sleepy

Ah I'm so stuck right now, I can decide if I want to use all my "date fund” on a bunch of new computer parts. I need a new video card, but if I run into a girl I won't have any money left if I blow it all. My computer is better than a nonexistent girlfriend, but still this sucks. I wish Ellensburg had computer places to work at.

Spend it all on this new piece of hardware, play newer games, have fun, or let the money sit and laugh at me for never having a date. Ahhh I’ve been thinking about this for two days now. I'm such a compulsive buyer, but I may have to wait until summer to buy a dream computer.

I think I’ve budgeted everything I need now, so I should be good until January, not having my parents as a safety net is making me think twice about everything now. I buy a computer game or movie every time I go to the store now, so I finally bought cable tv this week so I’ll have something to watch.

I need to go to bed and think on about this. I might not go home next week because I have another dinner to go to, so then I wouldn’t be able to pick up my pc parts until late November. It’s funny but true for when I get to see all the new beautiful graphics, it almost feels the love/companionship void with excitement for the future(at least for a brief moment it makes everything in the future feel possible and perfect).

Current Mood: cold

Well tonight 4 pledges quit the fraternity. It was two freshmen girls and two boys, and most of them held some position . It seemed pretty supid for them to pay 45 bucks to start the pledge then 2 weeks later they quit......Oh well my opportunity came and I had to seize it.

Now i'm the vice prez of the pledge class. Too bad it's nothing more than a title, but still yay. Then I actaully got to talk to a girl tonight for longer than 2 minutes, I feel so accomplished lol. I'm an idiot but oh well

Hmm since I havn't blogged in such a long time, I need to catch up. Right now i'm taking information technology at CWU. I live alone, and for the most part I love it. I'm still single, and it's the same old same old. Being single doesn't matter as much as I used to think, oil and water don't mix and that's just how its going to be

Most of my free time here is spent talking to my bf Victoria or just doing a little gaming. It's not like home where I used to spend a bunch of time playing games all day, or watching tv, I sorta have a bit of a life now -I want to laugh at my self for saying that. I actually seem to be talking to people for once OMG. During the middle of the week I also do IT club, not much else I want to say right now. -- I'm sleepy and have a mid term in a few hours.

Current Mood: thirsty

I havn't mad ea post in a long long time. I though I bloged a couple over the summer guess not. Too much has happened

I've been busting my butt the last two days at sequoia junior high. Pulling out old equipment, installing more, fixing stuff, and god today it was like 100 degrees in there. After I finished I found out I had until Friday, I’m way ahead of the other teams. I was just a walking zombie all day..So hot and tired.. sweat just kept pouring off my face and I drank so much water I felt like throwing up..maybe being a network engineer isn’t the thing for me. I have had a headache all day though, maybe today was just a bad combination of stuff. I was about to pass out

Around lunch I talked to the UWT and now I’m going to the new student orientation Thursday. Maybe next summer I can work some nice internship at Microsoft. I love Redmond and hope I can live up there in a beautiful house one day.

I wish I could be apart from pain, fear, stress and love in my life. I could just live, with nothing left that could hold me back from my chosen destiny

Current Mood: thirsty

Ok I just finished typing a blog then, I go to sleep and Clunk Clunk Clunk....Woof Woof Woof...Clunk Clunk Clunk. I just woke up to a elk running though my neighborhood. I heard it coming down the street with all the hooves slamming into the concrete, then the dogs went wild, and the giant elk ran past the street light. Looked like a 8 foot tall shadow of a horse. Crazy stuff.

I can't sleep right now, i'm a little excited I get to go hiking to a great place today with my cousin. I finally get to do something, i'm alone looking for stuff to do far too often.

I just came across a word to describe all of my thoughts,and feeling.... lovesick. I think this is it. I keep feeling everything but it all comes down to one or two words .

"Without a partner, lover, etc: To be tired of love, to miss being in love, to be heartbroken, to want someone to love, to want to be loved back.

With a partner, lover, etc: To miss your lover, to want to be with them more, to want to see them, to not be able to keep your mind off them."

Current Mood: lovesick

The company Steorn has claimed that can make free energy....They call it Orbo and they setup a free energy demo in London. They had it all setup to watch today and Whoops it has failed(they claim due to the lighting on the demo)LOL right. Didn't they test it first?....They said they setup permanent magnets that could spin around each other and gain more energy each turn.

I think they forgot the biggest thing ever before trying this wheel.

Magnetic forces are conservative forces! If that law was wrong than all our mathematics and physics would be wrong.

This DOESN'T work for the following reason

You cannot get more energy out than you put into a system........The most ideal situation you could ever have is where you keep 100% of your energy and even that is nearly impossible unless you are in a completely closed system.

Rail guns, electric motors and work by shutting off an electric field...nothing like Steorn is claiming....Plus they require energy to operate.

Permanent magnets have constant fields....If they were repulsing on a wheel they would just find a stable point of equilibrium and come to a stop.

This is just like letting a ball roll down a U shape. The ball will never have enough potential energy to travel up and out on the other side. Eventually due to resistance it will come to rest at a stable point of equilibrium at the bottom of the U.

IDK if these are real, I was surfing youtube for Johnny 5 clips and found a video link. The first one talks about fighting with your noses lol. Funny to watch

Current Mood: relieved

I just checked I got my first pay check today! I'm so happy right now, I want to shop but it is like 3am and i'm dead tired.

Random though for dinner tonight I had a sub and 62 US fluid ounces of blue and orange slurpee. I couldn't decide on what to get so I bought two! - I was pretty hot and thirsty.....I have icees flowing though my veins, I'm in LOVE with slurpees

Current Mood: tired

We finished work around 9pm tonight and all the interns over 21 except one guy, and the bosses went over to the bar. All eight of us had a great time drinking, telling stoires, doing a couple of stupid things, then after two freaking beers, I got too drunk to drive.....I had to drink water for the next hour and a half. I didn't leave untill 12!!!..Plus i'm still a bit buzzed (german beer is strong). It was sad all the other guys had like 6 beers plus shots, I'm still on the girls drinking level....like 2 gets me really drunk. One of the guys james tried to get me to roll a quarter down my face to see how drunk I was. I ended up droping and losing it. It turned out however he got black ink all over the quarter edge before hand......lol...It wiped off my face easily :)

I think the funniest part was when my boss Aaron started talking to the other boss Stephanie and the intern mikiko about doing the scissors lesbian sex position....way too far...but everyone was cracking us. Funny hand gesture.....

This is what I needed for a while. A night out with a bunch of guys and drinking. Kinda a bonding type thing, good times.

Oh yah before the bar I went out for pizza at little caesars. After picking up the goods, me and three others interns set our pizza boxes on the concrete seats outside the school. We were locked out so we had to eat outside, everyone else went to a baseball game or asian food. About 5 minutes later we found like 10 black ants in our two boxes!! It was really a funny sight to see and we still ate the pieces that didn't get ants all over it


I'm glad the guys had me drink a ton of water before I was able to leave, I would have been too drunk to drive.

Current Mood: buzzed

I just got home from work. I spent all day putting wires in, trouble shooting, hauling crap around, hunched over in dust, crammed behind switches and server racks.

I'm super duper tried, covered in black dust from head to toe(my white pants are brown, hands are black), face is hairy, and I feel like nasty sweaty like I just ran a mile. I'm going crazy i'm so tried, i'm talking to myself lol

Current Mood: tired

I just burnt the tip of my tongue on a carrot. Microwave....over heated it. I can only feel a tingle now. ouch

So I start doing the actually work I was hired to do today.. Swing shift from 2pm to 10pm. fun...leaves me nothing to do half the day. At least before when I was bored I could sleep when I came home.

What a conundrum, the other things events in my life that is. I really spilt myself over the weekend. Made a mess of what I have left and now I can't put it back. I always stray away from my corner after hope. Only to find out it was an illusion...once i'm lost that is

Current Mood: Lost